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Myself crave advice from those about handling middle-aged struggles, including deep inner questions, diminishing importance, developing a neck resembling a melted timepiece plus a fresh interest regarding sunny relocation programs. Most recently, I read the chef’s comments about hitting fifty during a chat: “Trimming unnecessary clutter is key to enjoying your later years,” he noted. “Just be with lovely people. I’m avoiding negative people – ‘mood hoovers’ – and getting better at saying no.”

At first, I pondered: isn’t this contradictory regarding shunning downbeat folks and mastering refusal? Could that imply he needs to dodge his own tendencies? I get it – such remarks define us negative types, and yes, I’m one of them. Although in our community we actually prefer the expression “energy vampire”. Steer clear of labels like “killjoy” or “buzzkill” – equating us to mundane objects hurts; we do experience emotions (even if they’re mostly bleak). I’ll accept “downbeat cashmere throw”, at a pinch.

It’s possible you’re also a member. Are you less the life and soul of the party and more its accountant or undertaker? When you give an exhaustive answer to “How are you?”, does the other person slowly retreat? Upon hearing “exciting” ideas, do you make a face as if you’ve tasted something vile? Do you strongly identify with Eeyore; has a psychic ever told you your aura is grey?

If this describes you, you’re in our ranks, and that’s acceptable. Despite a whole self-help-inspired trend urging people to get rid of friends who “drain” them, I’d argue we offer real value. I imagine a negative type would have voiced caution – or pulled a disapproving expression – when Jamie mentioned his children’s book idea featuring an Indigenous protagonist without proper consultation, potentially averting numerous issues, hurt, and anger. Such critical insights aren’t typical from “positive” friends.